The Loudmouth

One day a loudmouth bragged that he could beat up anyone no matter how big or tough they were. Everyone dismissed this as his usual rantings until he claimed he simultaneously beat up The Biscuit Man and Bob. They shook their heads.

Late that night as the loudmouth headed home from the bar, he began to hear a jingle. It was the biscuit jingle. Headlights blinded the loudmouth as he promptly messed his pants.

The Biscuit Man sped up and ran over the loudmouth. Stopping after a few feet The Biscuit Man slammed it into reverse. He ran over the loudmouth again. He continued until all that remained was a bloody, red paste spread across the street.

The next morning the townspeople found the remains and knowingly nodded. They scraped up the remains and set them to rest in a cheap, pine coffin.

The following day a graveside service was held for the loudmouth. There was a single attendee. The stranger wore a long, dark coat and hat obscuring their face. The priest finished the service and departed leaving the stranger alone.

The stranger walked to the coffin and gently caressed it. He turned away but quickly spun around kicking over the coffin.

The stranger began to laugh as the remains oozed onto the ground. He looked familiar as he removed the hat and coat. The stranger’s name was Bob.

Don’t be a braggart.